One of the ways my family honors the dead is by creating an altar filled with food, candles, photos, and plants in our home. This allows us to dedicate them and show our appreciation and respect. However I want to speak upon one of the items used in our alters that really fascinated me as a child. Although it looks simple, it carries a lot of significance to our culture and me. ធូក (tou-uk) is essentially a cup with raw rice that is able to hold incense sticks after we are done praying in Cambodian tradition. The first time I experienced losing a family member of mine was my grandpa. As a child, the whole process frightened me to the point where I was too afraid to say my final goodbyes to him. After years realizing that he was never able to come back, guilt drowned me. However, my mother told me that it was never too late to say my final goodbyes and that I was able to use the tou-uk to speak to him through it wherever I needed to. Even years later, there will always be a lit incense stick in my grandpa’s tou-uk.

– L.Y.

Relationship:  Grandchild of im/migrant Grandchild of im/migrant